Karen is what you might call A Giver.  While a very sexual being, her focus in the act is on her partner, with her pleasure being secondary.

I’ve always shot for a balance, I guess.  I take my pleasure as a given. I will have an orgasm 99.99% of the time during an intimate encounter.  I can think of only a very few occasions where I did not climax during sex.  But knowing that I am for the most part easy, I really focus on my partner, whose pleasure I take very seriously.  For me sex is… a game.  A challenge.  It is something to do well.  I have a highly competitive nature, which oddly extends to sex.  I know that in a given session I will orgasm at least once, but I need my partner to orgasm minimum twice.  That doesn’t always work out, and sometimes I get a big 0, but it makes me try harder.

Karen puts her partner’s pleasure first too.  She is fine not climaxing, so long as her partner is pleased.  This speaks to a larger part of her character where she is just a people-pleaser in general.  Overall she is an extremely kind and generous person, which is something we have in common.  We often compete with each other to better please the other, which is working out just fine really.

She isn’t the first Giver I’ve been with.  I had a girlfriend once who had a complete oral fixation, and would perform oral sex on me at any time, often times as a surprise for me.  I would often wake up receiving oral sex from her in the mornings.  Honestly, this was a pretty good deal for me.

Karen is similar.  All I have to do is ask, or order, or even just point at my genitals, and oral sex will commence immediately.

Also, Karen is almost a stranger to masturbation.  Self stimulation is something I take for granted that everyone does, whether they will admit it or not.  Coincidentally, Karen and my a fore mentioned Ex both had an aversion to masturbation, for I believe the exact same reason: Shame.  A few other girls I had been with also didn’t masturbate, but it seemed to me that the reason was unfamiliarity with their own bodies.

We had long conversations on oral sex an masturbation prior to engaging physically.  Masturbate? Maybe once or twice, but she did use the word Shame as a reason for abstaining.  I don’t understand the shame, but she had a very religious upbringing.  Giving oral sex? Yes.  She aims to please.  Receiving oral sex?  A few times, which she did enjoy, but it not on her agenda as a people-pleaser.  So, why did she stop me from performing oral sex on her…?

She thought she was being polite.  She thinks of a man performing oral sex as some kind of sacrifice.  She never expects it, certainly never requests it, and thinks its something most men don’t do, and don’t want to do.  After our first time in my office, once we had finished I kissed her, and she pushed me away and covered her mouth, thinking it was impolite to kiss me because she had just swallowed my semen.  She has some barriers that I just don’t have, yet I feel compelled to break them down.

After we connected, and the doors opened, we would begin to sext.  One night, I was able to get her to try to please herself while I sent her messages.  This went over very well, although there was some lingering reluctance for a while.  Gradually she has become more comfortable with the idea, and we have experimented a bit more, her on her own, and us together, which I will detail later on I’m sure.

As to receiving oral sex, that is something else we have worked on, and I think I’ve gotten some positive results there as well.

And I would like to note that it feels strange to speak of things like this, in these terms.  I suppose that is why I created this space, so I could get somethings off my mind.  I do feel often in this relationship that I am teaching her things, expanding her mind.  She is an incredibly smart person.  Her studies are over my head, and way outside my area of expertise.  I feel like I’m guiding her, however.  I guess that would be a natural thing given the big age difference.


Okay, dear reader, moving on, we return to our story, which again is explicit sexual content and thus password protected. The password is: forward4

Click here to read it only if you really want to, or wait for another post on down the line.

PS:  I’m doing this password thing because I know sexual content isn’t something that everyone accepts or enjoys.  Not that I care who is reading or why.  I’m writing for my own purposes.  I will say that I think this has been a net positive however, as the locked posts have about half the readers of the unlocked ones, so people are making conscious choices here.  I like that.


One thought on “Let’s back up

  1. I had an affair with a man 26 years my senior when I was twenty. He was the father of the abusive man I was engaged to. He taught me a lot of things about myself and about my body that I would not have otherwise known. While my ex-fiance made me feel ugly on the outside, this man made me feel like the most prized possession in the world. I’d never have an affair again, but I look back with fond memories of that man and our time together.


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