Throughout our story so far I have mentioned a woman I call Alex. She is my secret friend that no one knows about, that I share things with.
I met Alex shortly after I set foot out the door of my marriage, on equal terms, but under very unusual circumstances. We live a world apart, so most of our interactions have, have been online. When we met we knew we were both cheaters. I was just stepping out, she had just stepped back in. I was looking for an affair, she’d just ended one and was trying to live more honestly.
Alex is a beautiful woman, an intelligent professional, and insightful person. She solved her infidelity issues by seeking an open marriage, which in the years I’ve known her has worked out well.
We connected intellectually and emotionally. For a time we carried on an online affair, sexting, pics, the whole 9 yards. We shared a lot. I told her all my secrets, she shared all of hers. We met one weekend for a few kisses, indeed she was the first real meaningful kiss I had just starting out, but… Well, she digi-dumped me after a while. It hurt a lot. Eventually she came back as just a friend, albeit one who knew me so very well.
In the time since, we are still in each other’s pocket, we still talk, and share. We listen to each other’s problems in relationships, matters of work, children. Things that matter.
Alex has listened and watched throughout this story, and offered an ear and advice. Even though I decided to ignore the latter, it’s always been sound. She cares for me, and is guiding me through this mistake, as she has guided me through a few others, without (much) judgement, and only support for my well being.
Alex is having a hard time at the moment, and I’m trying to be there for her. It’s just life, granted that hers is far more complex than most. While I will speak frankly, and offer support, I don’t offer her too much advice, because I know, like she knows, people aren’t always looking for advice when talking about their issues.
Often, people just need to know they are being heard.